I was 26 when my accident happened. I was having the time of my life as a chalet girl in Méribel in France and after a long day’s skiing, I was taking a quick trip to the supermarket.
I went down some steep steps, slipped and fell 15 feet. My life changed in a moment.
I can remember being taken to hospital in France. They operated on me to put my vertebrae back in place, which is when they saw a tiny piece of bone in my spine. They operated again to get it out and that’s what paralysed me.
I was in France for 10 days before I was flown home. I was paralysed from the waist down, but the doctors there believed I would walk again. It was actually on the plane home that my big toe started moving again – I can remember feeling so happy and everyone was cheering!
That hopeful feeling disappeared for a while when I arrived at the spinal centre in Salisbury. Although my accident happened 33 years ago, I still remember it all so clearly. My doctor told me there was no way I’d ever walk again. The nurses said the same and that I’d just have to accept it. But I knew I could do it. I was so determined.
I spent the first 10 days there in quarantine. All my nerves were coming back, I was alone and it was just the most awful time.
After that, I was moved into the ward. It was a mixed ward at the time, so I was next to a man called Jack. I was on bedrest for nine weeks, so we just lay there side by side. For the first week or so, we didn’t really talk and our visitors would just awkwardly smile at each other. The same nurse told him he wouldn’t walk again and that was when he said “Nessie, we are going to walk, we are.” That was the first time we talked and after that we were inseparable. I still keep in touch with him now.
We all made the best of our time in hospital. We didn’t have a Horatio’s Garden then, so we didn’t really have anywhere to go to have fun or chat. There was the smoking room, but it was tiny! Sometimes we’d race our wheelchairs to the maternity ward and then someone would push us back. We’d go out to the pub once a week in the minibus and my family often took me out to Salisbury, but we were very institutionalised.
That’s why Horatio’s Garden is so special. When you’re in hospital for such a long time, it’s so important to have somewhere to go. I know it would’ve made such a difference for me and I see it making a difference for so many people from across Dorset and the south west every time I’m there volunteering.
I often talk to people in the garden about my time in hospital. I was there for six months and I can remember when I left that I felt quite vulnerable, as I hadn’t really been in the outside world for all that time. It’s such a life-changing experience and I know everyone in my position feels the same. Horatio’s Garden really helps people with that transition back to life. There, you feel like you’re part of the real world and you start to regain your confidence.
Three months of my rehabilitation was spent in a wheelchair. Eventually, I slowly started getting a bit of movement and feeling back, so I could stand, but it was like being on jelly.
When I left hospital I was walking, very tentatively, with a zimmer frame. It took another year and two months of intensive physio to get me to where I am today. I walk fairly well with sticks and I’ve been able to live a happy, fulfilled life. I met my husband David when I was 35 and we went on to have two children, Will and Jemima. That was huge for me, especially as after my injury I didn’t know if I’d be able to have children.
I always knew I wanted to give back to other people in a similar situation, which is why I felt inspired to volunteer with Horatio’s Garden. I live in Dorchester, so it’s not only because I rehabilitated at the centre, but also because it’s the centre supporting people in my community. I love chatting with everyone in the garden, sharing my experiences and hearing people’s stories. It’s a really peaceful, happy place to be – for me and for people who are newly injured.
There was a lovely man I’ll always remember called Roger. He spent so much time in the garden and you could tell he always felt so relaxed there. He’d often make himself cups of tea and just spend time outside.
He told me once that it just felt like real life – that he was just a person in a gorgeous garden with friendly people. He’d say it was like he’d left the hospital behind and he felt like he was in control again. The garden helps people regain their independence and I don’t think they’d have those same opportunities on the ward.
I know when I was there that I was terribly worried about going back into the world. I had lots of panic attacks after my injury. You’re quite wobbly as a new patient, but the garden really irons out those wobbles. It’s a home from home and feeling that sense of comfort really helps people. There’s such a community there and everyone is so lovely and welcoming. When you’re vulnerable and frightened, having somewhere safe to go is so important.
It’s such a beautiful place and so much happens there. Head Gardener Alex runs gardening workshops, volunteers and artists do creative workshops, musicians come to play live performances. The staff and volunteers are always there and they always involve everyone – patients, friends, family – in everything going on. I’ve seen people doing art and what they create is just amazing. Their whole focus is on what they’re making and it’s a real, lovely distraction from their problems. It’s so healing.
I’m sure people are in a completely different headspace in the garden. When I was in hospital, we all entertained ourselves and we all chatted, but we did it around the nurses’ station, or in the corridors just outside the ward.
In the garden, people have time and space. You can go and cry in one corner and later find you’re laughing in another. I always see people chatting and getting stuff off their chests, because ultimately, you’ve all got the same dreaded bowel, bladder and mobility problems. It’s lovely seeing people encouraging each other and there’s always someone to talk to out there – someone to make you feel better. You’re so up and down after a spinal injury, so having somewhere where you can lose yourself in activities, be with your family and friends and simply be yourself is really special.
I know Horatio’s Garden would’ve helped me. Everyone feels so supported there and I have no doubt people’s recovery is quicker thanks to the garden. We all know how healing it is to spend time outside and spend time talking to people. The garden offers all that and so much more. It’s such a positive place and it definitely helps people on their journey. I just love it.