My family have always been at the centre of my life. With three children, I’ve spent years driving them across South Wales for football and rugby matches. I’m also a proud ‘dance dad’, taking my daughter to classes across the country and watching her perform.
Everything changed on the night of my daughter’s twenty first birthday. My mother had passed away just a few days earlier, and we were unsure whether the party should even go ahead. Knowing she would’ve wanted us to celebrate, we hosted family and friends in our garden, with a marquee and band playing late into the night. All of a sudden, I fell over a low wall onto a flowerpot. Two discs in my spine were damaged and I was paralysed from the neck down.
Surgery went well in hospital, but complications made the next six weeks incredibly difficult. I could only lie on my back and temporarily lost the use of my vocal cords, meaning I couldn’t communicate using my arms, hands or voice.
Eventually, the feeling began to return to my fingers and I moved to a ward. The care was great, but I didn’t realise until later just how poorly I’d been. I imagined signing myself out after three or four days; in reality, I barely understood what was happening.
Everyone hopes to come to Llandough for their rehabilitation, so hearing a space was available was the best feeling. Within days, I was learning how to get into my chair and as my confidence grew, I was able to explore Horatio’s Garden.
Since then, the garden is where I’ve made all my friendships. You can have all the advice from the doctors, psychologists and nurses but I’ve gained so much from speaking to other patients in the peace and quiet of the garden. Outside, we could speak openly – even if 70% of our conversation was about bladder and bowels – not what you might expect for six people sat around a garden table! It felt like our space, to the point we’d joke when a doctor or nurse would come outside, asking what they were doing in our garden!
But it’s not just for us, it’s for everyone, including our families. When mine visit, with my two granddaughters, it feels nothing like a hospital. My youngest loves pushing my chair along the magical paths as we smell the flowers and play hide and seek. We’ve made memories here that would’ve otherwise been impossible.
Those friendships came to life when we organised an 80th birthday surprise for our friend and fellow patient, John. I suggested pizza and music and the Horatio’s Garden team brilliantly brought it all together. Families arrived with balloons, cakes and food, while Cardiff City Football Club even donated a signed shirt for John, who’s a season ticket holder. For one afternoon, we were one big family. As phone numbers were exchanged, I saw how the garden’s fostered friendships not just between patients, but between our families too.
When my family are here, the garden is my happy place. It gives me space to think in a way that I can’t do lying in bed looking up at the ceiling of the ward. The greenery and flowers help me relax and feel better. Over the past eleven months, it’s given me sunshine, many cups of tea, hours of conversation and helped form friendships that’ll last long beyond my stay in hospital.