*Content warning: this story contains discussion of suicide.*
I’m Ceri and I’m 33 years old. I used to be a carer in a nursing home for the elderly. I’ve done care work for about eight years and I really, really loved it. After my dad had a stroke, it was best for my mum to go to work in the day and for me to go to work at night, so it suited me and my family. I used to go to the gym a lot too and I love going for meals! Indian food and a nice homemade spaghetti bolognese are my favourites.
Two months before my injury, I was struggling to find answers for some awful, frightening health problems. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t get a diagnosis. I got so, so, so scared about what was happening that I ended up jumping off a really high bridge.
I’ve been in hospital for eight months now. Initially I had five operations in the Heath, including on my feet, skin grafts and one on my spine. My surgeon said after 30 years of working in spinal surgery, my operation was the most complicated. He did an amazing job.
I spent four months in the Heath and I felt so low. I was bed-bound, which meant I was inside the whole time and for three months I was washed in bed. I’m a clean person, so not being able to shower was really hard. When I had my first shower, I just wanted to stay in there. I did go to the chapel in my wheelchair, but that was about it. Otherwise, I was stuck on the ward.
In April, I came to University Hospital Llandough and I feel so different here. I’m further on in my recovery and everyone’s been amazing! It’s like you’re not in hospital here – I’ve met so many lovely people and we all look after each other. Everyone’s so reassuring and the staff are incredible too.
The first day I came to Horatio’s Garden, I loved it! It’s such a friendly place. Head Gardener Owen and all the volunteers here are really good – as soon as you see them, they’ll offer cups of tea and cake, tell me what the plants are, show me the greenhouse. They’re just nice and helpful and it’s all so close to the ward. It’s just lovely, really relaxing.
I’m always out in the garden, especially in all this lovely weather! As soon as my family come they say, “let’s go out in the garden!” My brother brings my two year old nephew to come to see me and he loves running around and smelling the mint plant. We’ve got books in the garden room as well, even for children. My nephew loves being out here with the books, or drawing something with the paper and pencils. It’s for everyone and it’s just lovely to have that time together.
It’s nice as well because I’ve been going to the craft workshops. One of my favourites was making mosaics – I’ve never done it before, but I loved it! That was really good fun. I made a sunflower and it took two sessions because you’ve got to design it all and then mosaic onto the slate. It was so great. I’ve also done weaving and painting.
I always go out when they have a live band and someone singing too. We had a lady come and play the harp and she was amazing! Any songs we asked for, she would play and we all really enjoyed that. It’s fun when we can all sing along too – it feels like a party!
One day, the garden had a visiting day for the National Garden Scheme, so the public were coming in to have a look at the garden. I went out and spoke to some people and it was really nice. There were cake stalls, coffee, tea and some staff came in on their day off with their little ones. It was such a good day and so nice to chat to everyone.
I love everything about the garden to be honest! It’s just nice to get out there if the ward’s a bit busy. Say I feel a bit down one day, I’ll go out and just sit out there and it makes me feel more relaxed and happier. Then I come back into the ward and I’m fine.
I wouldn’t like to be in hospital without a garden, it would drive me nuts! The fresh air is the best, it’s so much better than being inside with nowhere to go. They offered to take me out in my bed too, which was so lovely. I’ve seen new people go out in their beds to spend time with their family and they love it.
I’ll really miss it when I go home. My garden hasn’t been cut for ages! The grass is so long! I would love to put some of what I know now into practice.
The garden is beautiful and there’s always a change. The team work so hard on it, they’re always out there working away, even when it’s a really boiling day. When it was the heatwave, there were sprinklers going in the garden and me and one of the friends I’ve made here went out and got in the sprinklers, just to cool down!
My injury has affected me a lot, because obviously I can’t do stuff that I want to do. It’s also affected my family too, because I can’t do much of what we used to do, like going for walks, although I can still go in my chair.
The garden has helped me so much. It gets my mind off of what’s happening. You don’t think about your worries and your stress. It just all goes to the side. It takes you out of yourself. It’s really helped me to get to know other people too. As soon as I see anyone new out in the garden, I’ll go over and have a chat to them.
It all makes such a difference, just doing nice stuff in the garden and doing things I’ll be able to take home to remind me of the garden. I’ve got things in my drawer that I’ll take home, including a little plant called a Money Plant. They grow really big – mine’s just a miniature one at the minute, but hopefully it’ll grow. Owen’s been giving me gardening tips and I asked him if it would grow me money, but he said “no!”
Although they said I wouldn’t be able to walk again, I’m doing really well for myself now. I’m even walking on crutches! My physios have said that every week they’ve seen progress in me. I just want to keep going and going and doing my best. I’ve also had a lot of help from the NHS team here, including my psychiatrist, Fiona. She’s really supported me and helped me to get the scans and answers I needed.
When I get home, me and my mum will be ordering a Chinese to celebrate! We’re really close, so I’m looking forward to getting back and going out to lots of different places with her.
I hope to go back to working in the same care home at some point too. Whilst I can’t do what I was doing before, they said they’d love to have me back doing something else.
I’ve also made good friends here in the garden, so I’ll definitely come up and see them all after I’ve left.
The garden has been wonderful. I’ve really, really enjoyed it and it’s helped me so much. I’ll miss it a lot.
