My name is Alan Backhouse. I’m 84 years old and originally from Winchester, though I’ve lived in Fareham for many years now. I worked in social services for most of my career, and my final role was as Assistant Director of Service Quality. I was responsible for inspecting care homes, both local authority and privately run, and helped set consistent standards across the board. It was important work, and I think people trusted me to be fair. I also dealt with complaints and investigations when things went wrong, which could be challenging but was always worthwhile.
For years, I’ve lived with my son, and while he was at work, I ran the household. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening. I was active and independent, I really enjoyed being busy. Then one day, I lifted a mattress, something I’d done before without any issue, and I didn’t feel anything at the time. But by the evening, I was starting to feel stiff, and the next day I was worse. Looking back, maybe if I’d rested then, things would have turned out differently.
I was performing in a production of Guys and Dolls at the time, and I didn’t want to let anyone down, so I kept going, driving to Hayling Island for rehearsals and shows, standing around backstage, getting changed; it probably aggravated everything. In a few days, I found I couldn’t walk at all.
At first, it was a huge shock. Going from being a completely independent 84 year old to suddenly not being able to move in the way I was used to was difficult to get my head around. You start wondering what’s next. Will I recover? Will I get back home? What will life look like now?
I spent some time in Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth before coming to Salisbury. The physios there were good, but once I arrived here and got my wheelchair, that’s when I really started to feel a bit more mobile again, and that’s when I discovered Horatio’s Garden. I’d heard about it before I was able to get outside, and as soon as I could, I made my way down. I’ve been coming almost every day since.
It’s a wonderful space. It is peaceful, colourful, full of life. I’ve taken part in some of the creative activities, including a bit of painting. One of my pictures even got framed, though I’m not sure how that happened! I think the best moments have been when my grandchildren come to visit and play hide and seek among the flowers. Those memories really stay with you.
Right now, I don’t know exactly what the future holds. I’ve just been measured for a shower chair, so that’s progress. At the moment, I can only get between the ward and the garden, but between the two, I know where I’d rather be!
If I had any advice to give someone going through something similar, it would be to make the best of what’s available. Life may look different, and things might be more restricted, but there’s still joy to be found. Take part in the activities, talk to people, get to know names. Human connection is just as important as the connection to nature, and I’ve found both right here in the garden.
My late wife loved the colour purple. So whenever I’m in the garden, I like to sit near the purple flowers. It’s like she’s with me somehow.
